Bismihi Ta`ala
THE EQUILIBRIUM IN RELATIONSHIP.
الأدب المفرد – البخاري – (1 / 447)حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللهِ ، قَالَ : حَدَّثَنَا مَرْوَانُ بْنُ مُعَاوِيَةَ ، قَالَ : حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ عُبَيْدٍ الْكِنْدِيُّ ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ قَالَ : سَمِعْتُ عَلِيًّا يَقُولُ لِابْنِ الْكَوَّاءِ : هَلْ تَدْرِي مَا قَالَ الأَوَّلُ ؟ أَحْبِبْ حَبِيبَكَ هَوْنًا مَا ، عَسَى أَنْ يَكُونَ بَغِيضَكَ يَوْمًا مَا ، وَأَبْغِضْ بَغِيضَكَ هَوْنًا مَا ، عَسَى أَنْ يَكُونَ حَبِيبَكَ يَوْمًا مَا.
Reported in Adabul Mufrad of Imaam Bukhari r.a. that Hazrat Ali r.a. said that ‘’Keep friendship ties with your friend with such a moderation such that if one day your friend turn into your enemy,(then he knows not all your secret). And also keep enmity with moderation with your enemy, because you don`t know one day he may become your friend(so you be ashamed if you were bitter enemies).’’ The Qur-aan taught us the formula how to turn enemies in friends:
وَلَا تَسْتَوِي الْحَسَنَةُ وَلَا السَّيِّئَةُ ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا الَّذِي بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَهُ عَدَاوَةٌ كَأَنَّهُ وَلِيٌّ حَمِيمٌ (34) وَمَا يُلَقَّاهَا إِلَّا الَّذِينَ صَبَرُوا وَمَا يُلَقَّاهَا إِلَّا ذُو حَظٍّ عَظِيم [فصلت : 34 ، 35]
‘’Good and evil are not equal. Repel evil with what is best, and you will see that the one you had mutual enmity with him will turn as if he is a close friend.’’(41:34-35) It is better to have friends than for no reason develop enmity.
عَنْ عَلِيِّ بْنِ زَيْدٍ عَنْ سَعِيدِ بْنِ الْمُسَيَّبِ قَالَ قَالَ أَنَسُ بْنُ مَالِكٍقَالَ لِي رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَا بُنَيَّ إِنْ قَدَرْتَ أَنْ تُصْبِحَ وَتُمْسِيَ لَيْسَ فِي قَلْبِكَ غِشٌّ لِأَحَدٍ فَافْعَلْ ثُمَّ قَالَ لِي يَا بُنَيَّ وَذَلِكَ مِنْ سُنَّتِي وَمَنْ أَحْيَا سُنَّتِي فَقَدْ أَحَبَّنِي وَمَنْ أَحَبَّنِي كَانَ مَعِي فِي الْجَنَّةِ ترمذي
Hazrat Annas r.a. said that the beloved prophet SAW told him: O son! If you can spend your days and nights such that there is no hate for anyone, then do it. Then he added: And O son! Know that this is my way(mu sunnah). And one who like my sunnah, he has indeed liked me. And the one who liked me, will be with me in Jannah! (Tirmizi; Hayatus Sahabah) Else know that there are enemies that will stay enemies. Like shaitaan, thiefs, frauds, staunched jealous etc, we should keep distance from them and be aware of their ill intentions.
صحيح مسلم – (11 / 375)عَنْ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ قَالَ قَدِمَ مُسَيْلِمَةُ الْكَذَّابُ عَلَى عَهْدِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ الْمَدِينَةَ فَجَعَلَ يَقُولُ إِنْ جَعَلَ لِي مُحَمَّدٌ الْأَمْرَ مِنْ بَعْدِهِ تَبِعْتُهُ فَقَدِمَهَا فِي بَشَرٍ كَثِيرٍ مِنْ قَوْمِهِ فَأَقْبَلَ إِلَيْهِ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ وَمَعَهُ ثَابِتُ بْنُ قَيْسِ بْنِ شَمَّاسٍ وَفِي يَدِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قِطْعَةُ جَرِيدَةٍ حَتَّى وَقَفَ عَلَى مُسَيْلِمَةَ فِي أَصْحَابِهِ قَالَ لَوْ سَأَلْتَنِي هَذِهِ الْقِطْعَةَ مَا أَعْطَيْتُكَهَا وَلَنْ أَتَعَدَّى أَمْرَ اللَّهِ فِيكَ وَلَئِنْ أَدْبَرْتَ لَيَعْقِرَنَّكَ اللَّهُ وَإِنِّي لَأُرَاكَ الَّذِي أُرِيتُ فِيكَ مَا أُرِيتُ وَهَذَا ثَابِتٌ يُجِيبُكَ عَنِّي ثُمَّ انْصَرَفَ عَنْهُ
Reported in Muslim that when musailamah the fake that called himself a prophet came to Rasouloullah Swalallahou Alaihi Wasallam, then Rasouloullah Swalallahou Alaihi Wasallam said that because in his dream he saw him as an imposter, then hazrat Thabit r.a. will talk to him and Rasouloullah Swalallahou Alaihi Wasallam turned away from him. So long tahajjud allows one to indentify who is staunched and who is be friendeable.Gifts, salaams, care of well being and give without expecting back are ingredients to dispel enmity.
Mufti Mackoojee